Theo Von Got Fired as a Lifeguard… for Loitering

Theo Von’s Lifeguard Career Ended in Record Time

Theo Von has worked some strange jobs—selling hamsters outside raves, cleaning out wishing wells, and even selling Mexican food door-to-door. But his brief stint as a lifeguard might be the funniest failure of them all.

“I remember I was a lifeguard… or I was supposed to be a lifeguard or whatever,” Theo recalled. That “or whatever” turned out to be a key detail because his time on duty lasted only a few hours before he got fired—for loitering.

A difference of opinion with management led to his early exit, though it’s unclear what exactly that opinion was. Maybe he thought lifeguarding was more of a passive gig? Maybe he was just vibing too hard by the pool? Either way, the job didn’t last.

Given his track record with odd jobs, it’s safe to say lifeguarding wasn’t his true calling. But at least he got a solid story out of it.